Thursday, December 9, 2010

How a Low Feels

I was talking with my friend the other day, who is also a type 1, and telling him about my severe feeling low the other day. He related that the last time he described how it felt to be really low to a friend, she suggested that he write about it. So, here is my attempt (note that I am not writing about it AS it's happening).

It was Tuesday, and I injected more insulin than I should of. I was planning to eat a bigger breakfast, but after running 5 miles (3 at LT), and 2 total warm up and cool down, I injected 4 units of Humalog, again, planning to eat more, but was so content with my frequent buy rewarded free mocha, I stopped there.

All of a sudden, in the midst of trying to balance the budget for work, write emails back and forth, check Quickbooks budget reports on one computer, sliding back to my computer, adjusting project proposals, I started feeling like this was all so important, yet unimportant simultaneously. That is, that every single last detail, of printing out an insert to send along with an alternative gift card, and getting the cropping on the paper perfect was the most important urgent thing to do, while also, responding to my emails, and I felt a growing sense of urgency. All the while, I was beginning to sweat, and at a deeper level think about how I was going to finish this all. Probably it was my sympathetic nerve system actually asking that very question, but in reference to "how are you going to get out of this". But maybe because of the limited blood sugar I had in my system, I took that message and immediately applied it to the task I was doing. So, suddenly in that moment, I have this urgency of survival instinct and importance, but I'm thinking it's about the many tasks I'm doing at once. Of course, this is a trigger, as it feels odd, so I test. And it's only 60, but I think it must have been dropping FAST. I drank a juice, ate a bar, scrounged around in my purse for other old candy I carry around, and waited. All the while though that feeling of "what is happening to me, this is so strange, I can't figure out why I'm so stressed, I feel like I'm dreaming, like life is not that important anymore, but yet, I have omniscience about everything all at once"

At any rate, re-reading this, it doesn't capture all of it, but writing it, I began to better understand the physiological relationship between the feeling and brain's alarm for survival, and how strange it feels in relationship to what I was doing

Maybe others can relate or share it. Maybe next time (after I have drank the juice, and while I'm waiting for it to come up), I'll write more.

3 comments:

  1. That was interesting, Annie. I don't think I've had exactly the same feeling, but I certainly have felt like I was in a dream-like state, and had little things that were going on take on an out-of-proportion importance.

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  2. Annie,
    My name is Austin, live in Newcastle, NE of Sacramento about 40 mins. I have had diabetes for 23yrs.(I was 6 when we found it) Last year I accomplished my first full IRONMAN in St George. An experiance I will never forget, all 16 hrs and 16mins of it...Well, my Bro-inlaw talked me into it again(he didn't finish).
    I was a little to far inland to be a Captain, but I am looking to get more involved with Triabetes, and seeing how I will be there with you guys this year, it I thought it might be fun to train with some other StGeorge Bound Athletes. I will keep checking in on the webpage, of upcoming activities. Is there a better way to get involved? aust_bowden@hotmail.com

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  3. yes yes YES!! you totally hit the nail on the head for me with what it feels like specifically to get a low at work! like everything and nothing is urgent at the same time. I usually don't get like that unless it's well into the 40s or 50s though and I always keep apple juice boxes in my desk with a perfect 30g of carbs in each one. I don't buy into that 15g/15 minutes BS when I'm that low ;)

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